I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
