Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
