Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
