He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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