it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
