Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
