i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
