I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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