i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
