Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
