Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize