No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
