What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
this will be a night to untag.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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