That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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