Can i not drive my cunt home
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Randomize