As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
