I want to stick my p in your. b.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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