thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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