She said her name was "party"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
