i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
