woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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