You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
splinters make it hard to masturbate
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
