I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
