even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
