i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize