dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
