I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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