Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Damn victory sex feels great
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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