I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
