apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
