the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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