Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize