how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
