yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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