you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
