Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
