I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
we're making bets on your personal life
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
