She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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