If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
whose parrot is this?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
