i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
