imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
