yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
