He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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