I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just puked most of my soul out..
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
