gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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