How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
