As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
