I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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