Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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