I hope mine doesn't look like that
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
