yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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