You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
