Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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