your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
