Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
