I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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