Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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