my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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