Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize