google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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