GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
