You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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