Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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