There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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