I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize