google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
