This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
