this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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