I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
