You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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