I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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