so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
