Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
