can we get nightvision for the apartment?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
