hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
