I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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