Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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