i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
