I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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