is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
