I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
