It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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