you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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