Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
